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Fright — The Universal Experience
= Fright -- The Universal Experience = October 25, 2002 | By Tyler Gray, Sentinel Columnist Had enough of fear? Enough disturbing disruptions in your daily life from a madman on the loose? In a year when the White House outshines any haunted house in pumping out paranoia, it's actually OK that the premier Halloween event, Halloween Horror Nights Islands of Fear, is heavy on the fun and light on the fear. This year it's set at Islands of Adventure. I took a tour on a recent busy Thursday. There are five haunted mazes, including an outdoor encounter with half-man, half-dinosaur creatures. Of those, only one was truly frightening, but lights-out roller coasters, bountiful beverage carts and mazelike Islands make the trip worth recommending. That one scary house is Horror Nights host the Caretaker's "Screamhouse," set in a Universal soundstage, just through the back of "Boo-ville" (known during the rest of the year as Seuss Landing). The story goes like this: The maze is actually an old mortuary that was closed down under suspicious circumstances. Authorities found that the bodies weren't being disposed of properly. Some were, in fact, being stored in walls, closets or right out in the open. The dead souls are not happy about this. And they let you know it. They ooze from walls, bang on floors, pop out from around corners and bark at guests to "get out!" Plus, just about everything hanging from ceilings (body bags, chains, snake-feeling ropes) has a slime covering. I guess the stuff doesn't stain. It dried quickly and never showed up in the light when I made my way through the haunted maze. Maybe the person in line in front of me had used too much hair product. The layout at Islands of Adventure is acres larger than the scene at Universal last year. But it doesn't always feel so wide open. One of the scariest parts of the show at Universal Studios last year was the feel of a haunted city. The streetscape was so vast that you couldn't focus on any specific area of threat. At Islands of Adventure, the walkways are so narrow and the passageways are so dark that threats aren't so infinite. Which is scarier? A confined space, like the one in Alien, or an open terrain that leaves you ultimately vulnerable, like a scene from Children of the Corn? I'm more nervous in wide-open places. The whole trip around the islands feels like a long haunted house itself, complete with fire, blood red creeks, chain saw-wielding maniacs jumping out from corners and more characters than I could name. The idea is that forces of evil have taken over the park. The creeps pull that off best in Marvel Superhero Island, rechristened "Island Under Siege" for Halloween Horror Nights. There are maniac villains in towers squirting passers-by with water guns -- evil! But the haunted house there, based on a Marvel villain, Maximum Carnage, was kind of lame, not real organized. Perhaps I hit it during shift change. But any slump in fear at Islands of Adventure can be quickly cured with a ride on a coaster. They're open until 10 p.m. or so. Like every other attraction, the lines are tremendous. At the better stops, though, there is entertainment to make the wait go quickly. One performer for the line at Screamhouse let a live pet snake crawl in one of his nostrils and out the other. And riding Dueling Dragons in the dark is worth any stint in line, especially if you get in front. Blue is better, by the way. There's an extra scare at a point where you'll swear your feet are about to scrape a wall. A Universal official said the clearance between the dangling feet of riders on the coaster's opposing tracks was just about 12 inches. "What if I'm 12 inches taller than the average person?" I asked him. "Hmm, yeah. I wondered about that," he said. The final factor: drinks. Universal parks have reputations as great stops for big kids. And while Universal Studios did a splendid job providing beverage outlets last year, Islands of Adventure pulls through even better. Sometimes, the drink stands -- some with full-liquor bars -- are positioned right outside of haunted house exits. That can't be an accident. And it certainly helps the frayed nerves. But it hinders the driving. Let's remember that Islands of Adventure is quite a hike from anywhere. Go early not only to beat crowds of up to 20,000. Give yourself plenty of time to play it safe. Horror Nights happen tonight through Sunday night, then Tuesday through Nov. 2. Tickets aren't cheap -- they're $39.95 plus tax in advance for us locals. On Fridays and Saturdays with a coupon from Coca-Cola, you pay $36.95. On all other nights with the coupon, it's $29.95. If you really want a neat experience, drop $120 per person and take the VIP -- er, RIP -- tour, where you can cut lines, grab choice seats and see all the backstage action. If this is all confusing, check the listings among these pages, call 1-877-237-4448 or visit www.halloweenhorrornights.com. If you decide to drop Halloween cash this year, this is the big bang for your buck. NIGHTLIFE AND DEATH Of course, downtown Orlando and surrounding hangout locations are full of free freak shows. If you've never experienced the madness of Orange Avenue or surrounding downtown areas, you've never lived through a real Halloween in Orlando. For the folks who go out all the time, it can be a little annoying. For the lighthearted, it's a perfect night to secure an early perch and let it all unfold around you. And, oh, how the perfect perches have improved. Think outdoor seating. There's Casey's on Central, Bodhisattva Social Club, Independent Bar (one of the best), Bar-BQ-Bar, Room 3 Nine, Globe, Wall Street Cantina, Slingapour's and others -- spots where you can sit, sip and observe. If you would rather bet all of your chips on a Halloween party, I'll give you the odds-on favorites. You might choose to find your own direction. These are the spots I've tested for you. Some of them won't make you wait until Thursday for your boo. Joe's NYC Bar: The Halloween Parade is new for the season. It's the interactive play at the Temenos Ensemble Theater, 300 W. Church St. Expect costume contests and local musicians performing as their favorite dead rock stars. It's a play in a setting styled after a Lower East Side Manhattan bar where just about anyone -- even you -- becomes a character in the play. Add campy Halloween themes, and it's a new show all over again. This act is a favorite of mine. I've been a bunch. Shows are at 10 p.m. today, Saturday and Nov. 1 and 2. Tickets are $15 at the door, $12 with a reservation, $10 with a costume. Call 407-246-4590 for details or visit www.joesnycbar.com Peacock Room throws its hanging body bash at 10 p.m. Saturday. If you want the Halloween Horror Nights flare without the fear of being haunted by your limited budget, know that the bar is a spot that goes all out for neighborhood folks who like to get duded up. Owner David Rich has recruited theme park talent in arranging vampires, altars, hanging bodies, skeletons and raging lunatics to break through the back of the bar. There's a costume contest between 10 and 11:30 p.m. Saturday. First prize is -- get this -- a $1,000 bar tab. Second prize is a $500 bar tab. Even the lousy third-place costume owner gets a $250 bar tab. Each is to be spread out over a few months. Keep in mind your odds. The place, located at 1321 N. Mills Ave., is small. And there's no cover to get in to the party. Finally, what would Halloween be without the Genitorturers? It's their gig. I won't get into the specifics of their shtick, but let's just say it rivals great-grandma's lemonade for the pucker factor. The Gents are a shock-rock-metal outfit with a penchant for puncturing parts. They do it live. They're playing at the Xtreme Helloween Ball at Cairo nightclub, 50 E. Central Blvd., on Thursday. The G-torts are joined by Zoa, also known as The Angry Inch for the recent theatrical performance with Hedwig, and Fantasie, whose members dress up fancy every day of the year. Naughty adult shop Fairvilla Megastore sponsors the whole thing. Am I painting the picture plainly enough for you? The doors open at 8 p.m. Thursday. Tickets are $15. Want more? Check the listings, folks. There are always more options than hours in a single Halloween evening. Remember, it's tough to go wrong if you stray away from the lines and the masses and poke your head into something a little uncomfortable. It's the one night a year you're expected to do just that. 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